Congratulations! You have decided to become husband and wife and wish to be married inSt Paul’s, Ansdell & Fairhaven.
We want everything to be perfect for you as you begin your married life together and we will do everything in our power to ensure that your marriage service will be a time to remember with joy for the rest of your lives.
We hope the information below will tell you all you need to know about getting married at St Paul’s but if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact the Priest, either directly or via the Parish Office, or complete the application form. For more information on your church wedding, watch the video below.
The Marriage Service
2) Marriage Preparation 3) The Final Week 4) On the Day 5) After Marriage 6) Contacts 7) Suggested Hymns 8) Suggested Bible Readings
Introductory Words Your wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of serious commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and there he gave a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.
Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and for some to share in the care and upbringing of children.
Marriage is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.
On your wedding day the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing.
It is a legal requirement that your intention to marry is announced publicly (banns). Banns are normally announced during the Services on three consecutive Sundays prior to your wedding and within six weeks of the date. The parish priest will discuss this with you as to when this will occur. If possible, please be present in church when your banns are called.
If either of you is not resident in the parish you must also have your banns read in your local church. Please contact the Vicar of that church who will arrange it for you. There will be a fee charged for this. After the banns have been read at your local church, the Vicar there will provide you with a certificate which should be handed to the parish priest at St Paul’s no later than the Wedding Rehearsal. This certificate is essential as you cannot get married without it!
If neither of you lives in the parish you need to contact the parish priest to discuss your wishes. For more wedding information and tips.
If you wish to have your own service sheet, please ensure that the priest is aware of this at an early stage.
The sheet may contain a simple order for the hymns, readings and prayers, but may also contain the words of the Marriage Ceremony itself (see next page). It is a good idea to let the priest who is presiding at your wedding check over the proof of the service sheet before you get it printed. On your wedding day, please make sure the sheets arrive at church early enough for the ushers to distribute them when your guests arrive. For assistance with Wedding Stationery, you may wish to use a specialist by clicking here.
The Marriage Service
If you wish to have the complete marriage service on your service sheets, it can be obtained via the internet on the Church of England website. On that site, scroll down the page and click on marriage under “Pastoral Services” then, on the new page, click on “The Marriage Service”.
You may now use “Cut and Paste” to create a document, editing it to insert your own names where indicated.
Please note that the basic order of service is:
The Giving of Rings
Registration of the Marriage
We encourage you to familiarise yourself with your wedding vows. It sounds so much better than repeating them after the clergy person presiding your wedding. The vows are as follows:
The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his, and says:
I, N,take you, N,to be my wife, to have and to holdfrom this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
The bride takes the bridegroom’s right hand in hers, and says:
I, N, take you, N, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better,; for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God l make this vow.
You will need at least one Bible reading. If you wish, you may also choose a second reading from the Bible or elsewhere (e.g. a poem). A list of suggested Bible readings may be found below.
You may use your friends and/or family to do the readings and/or prayers if you so choose, thereby involving your guests in the service as much as possible.
When choosing the hymns, try to choose appropriate ones that everyone will know. We recommend that the first hymn is lively and well known. The second hymn is usually quieter. You may choose two, three, or four hymns, but three is the norm. A list of suggested hymns may be found below.
It is vital that you contact our Organist to talk over your requirements at least one month before your wedding. The easiest way is to meet her after our 10:30 am Sunday Service, but if this is not possible please ask the priest for contact details.
If you wish to have a video recording made of the Marriage Service, this is perfectly acceptable. The church holds a copyright licence to enable you to film the hymns and any other music. However, this does not give you licence to edit or dub the film. If you wish to do this, you are responsible for obtaining the necessary permissions. Please note, however, that there is a fee for the filming of your wedding.
At St Paul’s there is only a single bell which is seldom rung for weddings – however, should you wish the bell to be rung, please discuss this with the priest in advance to avoid disappointment.
You will first have an interview with the parish priest where you may ask any questions you may have. It is also a good time to begin to think about the prayers, readings, hymns and other music you want as the priest can help you choose.
The next thing is another interview with the priest where final arrangements may be tidied up, and details of the rehearsal arranged. This would be a good time to bring along a proof copy of your service sheet, if you are having one.
3)The Final Week
Wedding Rehearsal The final part of the preparation is the rehearsal - a very important process which is designed to make sure that everything runs smoothly on the day. This takes place in church, usually in the week running up to the wedding. It is helpful if the Best Man, bridesmaids and parents are present for this.
If you have not already done so, please bring with you:
- Certificate(s) of banns from another parish (if applicable); - Service Sheet (if you are having your own); and - All fees [which are due at least one week in advance of the wedding date].
Time Together It is a good idea to ensure that you find a few hours to be on your own together in the final week away from the busyness of the wedding preparations - simply to enjoy each other’s company and not to be disturbed.
4)On the Day
Arrivals To avoid unnecessary rush and panic, the groom should arrive 20-30 minutes before the start of the service and the bride no later than 5 minutes before the start. This should afford ample time for the photographer to take those all important photographs without delaying the service – which is, after all, the main event.
Confetti To preserve its beauty, please ask your guests not to throw confetti in the church. It is perfectly acceptable to throw confetti outside the church doors, where it can be swept up later.
After your marriage it will be lovely to see you both again. You are most welcome to join us in our regular Sunday worship. The Services at St Paul’s are as follows: 08:30am Holy Communion (Book of Common Prayer) and 10:30am Family Eucharist. If you have small children there is an All Age Family Service every Thursday evening at 6:15pm.
Alternatively, you could try coming at the special times in the church calendar, e.g. Christmas, Easter, Harvest, Mothering Sunday, or to celebrate your own special anniversaries.
Please remember that we are always available for help and advice.
Parish Office – (01253) 732939
The list below is purely a guide - there are hundreds of hymns from which you may choose … it’s up to you to make the Service as meaningful as possible for yourselves.
A new commandment
All my hope on God is founded
All things bright and beautiful
Angel voices ever singing
Come down, 0 love divine
Father, hear the prayer we offer
Fill your hearts with joy & gladness
For the beauty of the earth
In heavenly love abiding
Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us
Lord of all hopefulness
Love divine, all loves excelling
May the grace of Christ our Saviour
May the mind of Christ my Saviour
Now thank we all our God
O perfect love
O thou who camest from above
O worship the King
Praise, my soul, the King of heaven
Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
The King of love my shepherd is
The Lord’s my shepherd
There’s a wideness in God’s mercy
8)Suggested BibleReadings The list below is purely a guide.